Terrapin Times

Terrapin Times

April/May 2000

The Only Newsletter Written By A Toad,
A Dog, A Cat And A Hamster
That Has Nothing To Do With Turtles!

~April/May 2000~

~Morning Musings~

A new day is breaking, morning has broken, the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese. Does it have to be breaking?? That's like so -unpositive. How about repairing? (morning has repaired-nah) Let's see.....How does night feel? About this anyway? Are these phraseologies reserved solely for the exclusive use of people who do not care for the night? What about we nocturnals (and musicians) that don't care for the daytime, huh?? Is it called a new night is breaking? No. Night is falling

But that is ridiculous. Such pessimism. While it is 'falling' on one side it is 'rising' on the other! Of course I understand that dark was to be feared when folks thought it was a cruel dastardly trick performed by the gods just to let them know who's boss....or if you currently live in New York City. Hmmmmmmm.....Morning is Mending-no-not quite......have lived to see another day..no.....back to those tricky gods. Enough. How about we just drop the descriptive and say-'dawn is here' or 'morning is BACK!'

I realize now that I could combine the two classic lines in the opening salutation (redundant) with the word nocturnal and it would make sense....if you're an owl. "The early bird gets the mouse....." which of course leaves the worm and the cheese to fend for themselves and out of the picture entirely but may in fact unravel the mysteries of Swiss cheese.

How about 'morning has manifested'-nope again.A new day has begun? Closer Think definitely time to switch gears. Way too easy to continue in this vein (with this train of thought). Let's not go there, shall we??

~Merely~Me~Maya~

You may remember this column as Keiko's Korner. I was aproached by Ty-pole and, later Mr. Toadly himself, to continue this feature in her stead. She is truly missed by everyone here and I shall never be able to 'fill her paws' but I have promised to do my best in this awkward situation.Although I never had the privilage of meeting her (only sane one here I understand) we shall be together further down the trail and I am sure we shall become friends.I can't help but be inspired to carry on her writings and to help technologically advance Terrapin Times further.

One project that she was working on was the ability to incorporate actual photographs on the pages of these issues. Having gone over her files with a fine-tooth-flea-comb I was able to pick up the ball and keep the mouse rolling! Yes Dear Readers, that really is a photo of me and yes, my eyes really are that spooky green color. My name is Maya and it is a pleasure to meet you!

~Name Game~

Toadly, Toadly Bo Boadly. Yada Yada Yo Dodo!! For years now this world famous bird cage liner has been known as Terrapin Times. Apparently I have hopped on some webbed toes and it seems I have gotten someone's undies all knotted up. These said undies happen to be the personal property of several Maryland basketball lunatics. Er..I mean fanatics. Waving the giant foam accusatory finger at me declaring that the mag-moniker belongs to them, as it is the title of their local basketball newsletter. This matter was brought to my attention via several angry e-mails; no doubt originating from several disturbed and misinformed fans. True-We DO share the same header.

However I can not be blamed for the lack of Internet-Search-Prowess! The web-posted description of my Terrapin Times specifically says "a whacky as-I-feel-like-it-and-get-around-to-it type of newsletter that you won't understand anyway.". Reading-Factor-Zero! Do you see anything pertaining to basketball in that description? Then what are you doing looking up an on-line magazine, hmm? Oh, I'm sorry-you just like to view the pictures.

Readers-should I change the name?

I would like to thank all of you Grateful Dead fans, as Terrapin Times is also the title of one of your fanzines. I suspect I won't catch much flack from you folks over this debate-you're simply way too cool and mellow. Thanks. -ed.

~Pookey Prints~
Guess what? I'm 16 years old! Oh, knew that already huh? That's right-you live here. Oh yea! I remember you now. You're my pet human. When I was a puppy (a very long time ago) you would scold me for things I did not mean to do. At first I did not understand but with your patience and persistence I learned and was able to please you. Now I seem to make you nervous, I can sense that. You raise your voice to me and put me outside and I don't know why or what I'm supposed to accomplish out there. Sometimes I ask to be let out, I guess, only to be let back in. I've been a good dog. What's happening? Hey! You built bigger steps on the back porch! Why did you do that? Where are my old ones? I am scared of these new ones. Where are MY STEPS??! What is going on??

When I was a youngster I'd lay at your feet. Now I fall down on them. I can't help it. I still just love following you around, albeit a lot more slowly now. I need to walk with you-you know where you're going. Where are we going? Help me please, I need your guidance more than ever. Wasn't I just here at the back door? Thought I was..maybe not. Hey! Did you build new steps again!?

~Ask Furbette~

Dear Furbette,

I am a youthful, energetic, outgoing hamster and my name is Hanna. My question is this: My humans have recently brought home what I think might be another hamster. We have had many delightful conversations through the plastic of my tank. Once I asked my friend why she had run of the house (I don't) and she merely replied that she was more mature and responsible. Ok-I'm young. She's so sweet and I would hate to hurt her feelings but I bet she weighs about 10 pounds. She says that it's a viewing distortion caused by the plastic walls. Ok. She's invited me out to play several times and has even tried to get the lid off the tank for me but to no avail. Please Furbette, can't I go out and play with my new best friend? Sign Me: Forbidden To Frolic

Dear Frolic,

Of course you may go out and play with your new friend-ONCE! Love, F.

E-mail The Turt (boxturt@boxturt.com)

~© Copyright 2000, 2001 Terrapin Times/Ty Smith~

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